Self Worth. It’s a topic that is really not talked about very much, everyone focuses on self-esteem, confidence and so on however to me this is the most important topic when building a healthy relationship with yourself.
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Self-Worth is the building block that shapes what we attract and what we feel we deserve in this life!
Let me take you on a little journey of where what my life looked like just 10 years ago.
No one other than my closest friends and family would have ever guessed I was anything but happy, living the fabulous LA film industry life… because, I wore beautiful clothing, had a mid-century house in the hills, drove a fancy car, had a handsome, successful husband, an adorable daughter, dogs etc.
And I’m not saying this to brag or sound obnoxious, it’s just what my life looked like from the outside.… Trust me, ONLY the outside because my self-worth (on a scale from 1-10, 10 being YES I am so worthy) was at maybe a 4… And even when my self esteem would rise I could just as quickly sink when someone commented on my appearance. I was pretty fragile. And as I’ve mentioned previously, I was in a verbally abusive marriage and we were over $40K in debt.
I felt like a complete fraud, you know smiling in public, going through the motions, attending the holiday parties…UGH! And at the same time I felt incredibly unworthy of being happy.
To say I was in a bad place is an understatement. I felt paralyzed with fear and what ifs. However, until it felt worse to stay where I was, as opposed to dreaming of what I wanted and be okay with how terrifying that might be, could I even think of taking a leap of faith. Bottom line, until the unknown felt better than my current reality, “the knowing what to expect every day”, only then could I finally do something about it.
So I jumped… yes with the help of an incredible therapist, friends and family. But, yes, I jumped… and the rest is history. Just kidding…
I still had ALL the work to do with healing my relationship to food and my body and ending the HUGE battle going on with dieting. However, what I will tell you is leaving a life of being told I wasn’t thin enough, or firm enough, sexy enough ( I could go on and on) walking away from that with my daughter and dog in tow sent my self worth up to around a 7 or 8.
My point is when we take a stand and say “ENOUGH, I deserve to be happy, have a wonderful life and feel joy” we are finally coming from the place of self worth. See I believe self worth is our birthright.
So let me ask you on a scale from 1-10 how worthy do you feel?
If it’s less than a 7 than I want to give you permission to own just how incredibly worthy you are.
See, self-worth comes from within. You won’t find it from “having things” because you simply can’t find self worth from external factors. It’s internal.
No amount of money, friends, fancy cars or a big house can create self-worth.
Sometimes it takes practice to remind ourselves that we are worthy due to old beliefs and things we’ve been told by others ( you’re vain, selfish and so on…)
So, to help rebuild your self-worth, here are some tips I used and it really helped!
- At the end of each day write down something you feel proud about, just own it!
- Say no! It’s A-Okay to say NO!
- Walk & stand tall and proud, pull your shoulders back and see how empowered you suddenly feel!
- Wear what makes you feel good! No more squeezing into old clothing, honor where you are!
- Do something for yourself every day.
- Speak up for yourself in every area of your life, this might be hard to do at first but taking care of yourself is saying “ I matter” and allows your self worth to soar.
- Forgive yourself! (You know what I mean)
- Celebrate your successes. As soon as you achieve something celebrate!
You have so much to offer and you are here for a reason so shine your light, shine it to guide others out of the dark because when we feel worthy we are strong and when we are strong we can do what we were put on this earth to do.