Being part of a breakup is tough for all parties involved, especially when the breakup comes after a long, deep relationship. The heartache of a breakup can last for quite a while, but the days and weeks right after the split are often the hardest.
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To get through this tough time, you need to take good care of yourself and remember you aren’t alone. Keep these tips in mind while navigating through this new, single world to help you realize that life will get back to normal.
1. It Is Not Your Fault
This is one of the first things people will tell you because it is true! Regardless of the circumstances, the breakup is not your fault. Remember that breakups mean the end of a relationship and do not necessarily need to be one person’s fault.
If your partner is the one who initiated the end of the relationship, respect that decision and realize it was just that: their decision! It is not entirely because of you or something you did or did not do; it happened because they no longer wanted to be in the partnership for their own reasons.
As you heal, you will hopefully notice the positive aspects of this decision and eventually be glad that it ended.
2. Take Care Of Yourself
Taking care of yourself is so incredibly important in general, and this is never truer than when you are going through a tough time.
Eating right is the first thing to keep in mind. Drinking enough water and feeding your body the nutrients it needs to survive is something you may have to force yourself to do, but it will be worth it.
With the proper nutrients and liquids, your body, mind and spirit is given enough energy to process these tough thoughts and emotions. Get yourself on an eating schedule so you don’t skip meals. You will also want to ensure you are sleeping enough at night.
Sleep is when the brain has a chance to sort all of the thoughts and actions you’ve made throughout the day. Give your body this time to rejuvenate and process.
3. Let Yourself Grieve
This one can be tough when you are just trying to move on, but please remember to let yourself grieve. You have been through a loss – the death of your relationship. This means you will go through the same stages of grief as anyone else who has had a loss.
The stages of grief include varying degrees of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Every person is different, just as every breakup is different. Allow yourself to flow through these stages and realize it is okay to be sad and mourn for the relationship that has now ended.
Before you know it, you will be able to reflect and pick out the positives. You will eventually feel some acceptance of what has transpired, accompanied by hope for what is to come.
4. You Still Have People On Your Side
One of the most important things to remember is that you are not alone! There are still people in your corner, rooting for you to get back on your feet.
Your close friends and family are there for you; you just need to be clear about what you feel you need! If you don’t want to hang out, tell them.
If you need someone to just come over and sit and listen to you, tell them. If you need help, be sure to ask! Your group of friends might be a bit smaller now if you had mutual friends with your ex-partner, but don’t dwell on this.
Find friends that you can fully trust and you know are on your side, looking out for what is best for you. Some of your friends may have also had this type of heartache before, so lean on them for advice and let them serve as a helpful sounding board.
5. It Can Take Time
Unfortunately, getting through a breakup can take a bit of time, depending on how long the relationship was and how invested you were. Let yourself take the time you need to grieve and fully process this life change.
This process can take extra time if the breakup came out of left field, giving you no time to prepare yourself emotionally for what is to come.
You should also keep in mind that it can take time for both parties involved to heal. Even if you feel you are ready to talk about the breakup, your ex might not be.
Breakups are hard on both parties, no matter what the circumstances are. Breaking up is a huge change in your life, and getting used to anything that changes takes time to process and come to terms with.
6. Maybe It’s Meant To Be
This is another phrase people will say to you, hoping to make you feel better. Again, there’s a reason people say this: there is some truth behind it!
It’s incredibly hard to feel that a break up is meant to be while the wounds are still fresh on your broken heart. How could this be meant to be?
Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, for you to learn something or to grow from. This idea of fate and that what is meant to happen is out of your hands can be a helpful notion to get through the tough times.
It helps you look at the experience and the whole relationship as a positive—something to learn from and eventually move on from. Look at the relationship as a useful experience that has helped shaped the incredible person you are today.
While you’re reflecting, also imagine the amazing people you will meet in the future. You never know what else is meant to be!
7. Take Note Of The Lessons
This point is so important. Every experience in life—the good, the bad and the ugly—teaches you something, whether it’s how to act, how not to act, how to react, and how to feel and be.
Take note of what you have learned from the relationship and the breakup.
The best way to do this is to keep a journal. Buy yourself a beautiful notebook or a journal with inspiring quotes and get writing!
The act of writing out your thoughts and feelings is incredibly therapeutic and helps you gather your thoughts. You will then able to read back through your entries and reflect on how you feel days, weeks and months later.
Because grief is so fluid and you heal at different speeds, being able to sort through your emotions and ups and downs can be very beneficial for your healing process.
Before you know it, you will realize all the amazing lessons this experience has taught you and bring them with you wherever you go.