Most of us have had the experience of being bored on a date. Sometimes things just don’t click right away and you find yourself struggling through a few awkward pauses and wondering if they’re ever going to bring the check.
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If you’re serious about finding a person to share your life with, reconsider before you decide never to see this person again. Exciting people can come with other qualities you may not want, sometimes it takes a while for someone to warm up, and it’s your job to make your life interesting.
It’s so much fun to meet someone special and get excited about them right away. There’s that feeling of being swept off your feet. You wake up in the morning thinking about him or her and look forward to your next date.
If the people you get excited about usually end up being players or bad girls and you really want to find someone to share your life with, I strongly suggest that you become more tolerant of people you might initially label as “boring”. What’s so exciting about living on edge all the time, wondering what they’re doing and when you’re going to see them again?
Think about how exciting your friends and family are. Some of them might be considered boring, but you love them anyway. You can count on them to be there for you. Isn’t that what you’re looking for in a relationship?
So here are 3 reasons why there is far more to your date’s personality than just pure excitement:
1. Get To Know Them – It usually takes a few dates to really get a feel for a person. If being a bit boring is the worst thing you can say about someone, consider giving them time to grow on you. He or she could have been nervous on the date and need time to get to know you better.
2. Consider Their Other Positive Traits – It’s best to keep in mind that the skills required to be a fun and exciting date are very different than the skills it takes to cultivate a healthy relationship. Yes, one should be personable, but do you want to be with a professional dater?
3. Create Your Own Excitement – Finally, it’s not another person’s job to add excitement to your life, it’s yours. Think about experiences you’d like to have and then find a way to make them happen. Perhaps your date would like to join you.
Take a class, go to the movies, or read a book. Your relationship should not be your primary source of entertainment.
If you bear all these things in mind and you still don’t think you can spend one more minute with someone, go ahead and take a pass. There’s no need to torture yourself and it wouldn’t be fair to him or her either.
Do keep an open mind though. If everyone you think is exciting enough to date breaks your heart, it’s time to re-frame what you think of as boring.
If you’re turning down opportunities to date perfectly nice people to sit at home alone or date players, you’re jeopardizing your chances of being in a healthy relationship.