We meet people from all warps of life and we don’t necessarily like everyone that we meet. People can be testing and push our buttons in ways that we had not expected.
There will be some people. that you like instantly and they feel like long lost friends and others you just don’t trust or get a good feeling about. Actually – that’s ok. We don’t live in an ideal world and people are all different.
So what is the smart ways to deal with people you don’t like.
1. Acceptance
Accept that it’s ok that not everyone will like you and that you will not like everyone – you don’t need to get on with everyone you meet or make them your best friend. We can get so caught up in thinking that in order to be a nice person we have to get on with everyone and smart people know that that will not be the case. Accept that the person you do not like is not a bad person, it’s just that you have different values to them and that you don’t share the same interests.
2. Respect
Regardless of how much they may wind you up or make you not want to be around them; it is more than likely that they will sense your attitude and behavior towards them and will reflect it back to you. So always treat them with respect if you do have to interact with them. Keep it short and to the point – but keep it polite.
3. Expectations
Expecting a person to know the things you know and to behave in the way that you do, can be unrealistic. Every person is an individual and has their own personality. Wanting people to be exactly as you are is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration. Learn to see the person as they are and not who you think they should be.
4. Responsibility
It’s important to learn how to deal with your behavior and reactions towards someone you don’t like. Don’t let them get under your skin. Instead of thinking about how irritating that person is, focus on why you are reacting the way that you are. Sometimes what we don’t like in others is frequently what we don’t like in ourselves. So don’t be afraid to take responsibility for something that may need healing in you.
5. Breathe
Before the need to answer anyone who is annoying you, stop to take a deep breath and a big step back to help calm you down and protect you from saying something you might regret. This little pause will help to keep you more open mind and relaxed about the situation.
7. Be Open
Sometimes people who irritate us may not necessarily know what they are or have done wrong. So be open with them and let them know how they make you feel. Don’t use accusing language or argumentative words, this will only make them defensive and be rude to you. Be calm and to the point, and if this does not change anything, then at least you know you tried.
8. Boundaries
Make sure your own boundaries are clear and you know what you won’t tolerate. If someone is making you feel very uncomfortable and uneasy, then feel free to walk away. You do not need to be a part of something that you are not happy with, but ensure you do not play into the drama when doing this. Simply and silently walk away. The person will get the message.
9. Intuition
Trust your intuition or “gut feeling” you get when you first meet such a person. If something does not feel right from day one then odds are that it’s not going to get better. Trust what your intuition is telling you and keep a distance with that person.
It’s important to be open and mindful of how a person makes you feel so that you can determine whether you need to fix something in your life rather than them and their behavior.
Once we are honest and clear with ourselves, we will find it easier to deal with people who push our buttons – because we will be the ones holding the controls.
