If you’re not yet married or in a satisfying long-term partnership, you may be wondering how exactly you’re supposed to meet your ideal match. However, there’s good reason to suppose that you should start out not by hunting for potential dates but by looking at how you see and feel about yourself.
In this TEDx talk, television writer Tracy McMillan (whose writing credits include “Mad Men” and “United States of Tara”) wants to share some of the wisdom that went into her book “Why You’re Not Married…. Yet.”
As a former dating coach on NBC and the mother of a boy in his mid-teens, she’s uniquely qualified to discuss what might be holding you back from the happiness you crave. And she says that “The only relationship you’ll ever have with another person is the one you’re already having with yourself.”
McMillan urges you to take a critical look at your self-conception, and to move towards the type of self-acceptance that fosters a better, more fulfilling life. In fact, McMillan is so serious about this suggestion that she suggests you commit to making a particularly important set of vows—vows to yourself.
As she explains, if you can learn how to love yourself more and view yourself as intrinsically valuable, you also open yourself up to loving and accepting others in a way that leads to an ongoing cycle of love.
You’ll see McMillan break down the vows involved in a traditional marriage between two people, and adapt them to suit and describe the ideal relationship that you need to have with yourself.
You’re sure to be left with plenty of reflections on the importance of self-respect as a necessary precursor to marriage. And who knows? If you make those vows to yourself, you might just see your love life begin to transform.