“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.”
– Carl Jung
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When I was six years old, my brother and I were suddenly and unexpectedly put on a plane to Columbia and sent to live with my aunt. I remember waking up in another country, completely abandoned and afraid.
This was the beginning of what felt like a never-ending fear that I wasn’t safe. At sixteen, all of my fears proved true when I woke up to my father pointing a gun at my head.
When I turned eighteen, with 100 dollars to my name, I finally was able to leave my dysfunctional home and start a new life. But there was more terror in store for me.
The Darkest Time of My Life
By the time I was twenty years old, I was working in a bank and my career was advancing quickly. And then suddenly, like the abrupt and shocking events of my childhood, I was handcuffed and sent to jail for a crime I did not commit.
I was charged with conspiracy to steal a million dollars from the bank, framed by my co-worker.
Though the charges were eventually dropped and I was released from jail with a clean record, I burned with a feeling of worthlessness.
I began self-medicating with alcohol, weed, food, sex—whatever could numb the pain I felt inside. I fell into a dark place for several years, not sure if I would ever feel happy again.
Outward Happy, Inward Fear
Eventually, I did climb out of that darkness. I was given an opportunity in real estate and a chance to start over. I met my wonderful husband, we had three beautiful children. I found doTERRA essential oils and a passion for helping people heal.
From the outside, I looked like I had a perfect life. I was tremendously successful in business. My family was healthy and happy. But my past still haunted me.
I was so driven to succeed that I pushed myself relentlessly.
My health suffered and I missed out on so many precious moments with my children because of my unyielding drive.
I was overweight, drinking too much, and I didn’t say no to people because I was desperately afraid of disappointing anyone. I didn’t want to be abandoned again. There was still a big part of me that didn’t feel worthy.
Finding True Healing, Finally
It was during this period of my life that my husband decided to take our family on a vacation to Costa Rica for a week. After a week with us, he stayed for another week at a place called Rythmia Life Advancement Center.
He found it on Google and it wasn’t until he was booking his trip that the customer service rep explained that they offer plant medicine as part of the retreat experience. He decided to give it a try.
When my husband came home, he was a different person. He felt free from past demons and limiting beliefs and habits and was happier and lighter than I’d ever known him to be. He told me I had to go do it as soon as possible.
So that’s how I found myself, two weeks later, being blessed by a shaman for my first plant medicine ceremony.
Thank God I didn’t let myself be too afraid to try it, because what happened to me that week was miraculous and changed my life forever.
The plant medicine opened me up in a whole new way that I never knew was possible. I was able to forgive myself and others from my past, and see my life through a fresh, clear lens.
It was like I’d been looking at everything and everyone though dirty glasses before, and now it was all crystal clear.
And my inner voice, which was usually drowned out my controlling mind chatter, was stronger and clearer than ever.
A Safe Place
The plant medicine they use at Rythmia comes from an ancient tradition that’s been practiced for thousands of years in the Amazon jungle.
Personally, I never would have gone to the Amazon jungle, taken plant medicine in a hut, and gone to the bathroom in a hole outside.
That’s just not for me. So I’m really grateful that I was able to have this experience in a very comfortable, medically-licensed setting.
The medicine is honored with its traditional methods, but it’s in a very safe and nurturing setting.
I had never done anything like that before. The only substances I’ve ever had are alcohol and weed, so I was worried I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
But I felt so taken care of, completely safe, and the experience was nothing like taking a drug. It’s a very healing medicine.
It goes to where you need the healing—whether it’s physical, emotional, or spiritual—and cleans you out.
Life After Plant Medicine
My experience with plant medicine propelled me to another level of growth, awareness, and consciousness. It was like a 10-year fast forward in my personal development. I’m experiencing so much synchronicity in my life all the time now.
That little voice of my intuition has really turned up the volume.
I now see that all of my success and everything amazing that’s happening to me is fueled by those negative and crazy moments of my life. I’m grateful for those experiences now.
Those experiences motivate me to help people, to change lives, and to heal the world. Instead of just trying to be grateful mentally, I’m actually in a physical state of gratitude now.
Other things in my life have changed as well. I’m honoring my body more by eating what’s going to serve my body.
I also have this new enthusiasm for life, I feel more like a kid. I’m more aware of the beauty of nature around me and just feeling so grateful for the simple things in life.
Most importantly, I’m dedicating more time to my husband and children. I realized, what other purpose am I here on this planet if it’s not to take care of the children that I birthed, and to love and be there for my husband? I still run my business, but I’m present when my husband and kids are at home.
I’m not answering calls and texts every time I get them. My head was always on a cell phone or in front of my computer before, but that’s changed a lot.
The Path To Healing
I know there are many paths to tap into your subconscious and find healing. Some people get there through breathing, yoga, meditation, or the food they eat. Some people find it through exercise. You can go to see Tony Robbins or do all sorts of personal development courses.
For me, I had tried many other paths before, and nothing helped me have a real breakthrough like plant medicine.
I am now on a true path of healing. I see that nothing is a coincidence. I feel like, for the first time, my eyes are open, and my ears are truly tuning in to what’s happening in my life. I see how experiences and certain people keep on showing as patterns to teach me a lesson.
Thanks to my plant medicine experience at Rythmia, I’ve been able to heal even more from my past traumas, and I’m even ready to talk to my dad for the first time in 20 years.
I’m so grateful that I let myself get uncomfortable because my life was never going to change and I was never going to grow if I stayed comfortable where I was.