One of the most horrific experiences anyone can ever endure on life’s journey is the loss of someone they love and have to continue with their life living with that loss. Everyone’s experience is, of course, different and unique to them.
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For some it may have been the biggest shock they’ve ever encountered, others may have had to live for months caring for a loved one knowing that death was inevitable.
Regardless of what your experience may have been or what you may be going through in relation to loss, the associated pain remains.
In my own experience, I still get very overwhelmed from the shock that riddles throughout me.
It lingers to my very core, completely instilled in my being. It is and always will remain a part of me.
There is a part of you that dies too if that sounds familiar?
You can never truly be the same person you once were before your loss because something so heart-wrenching has no choice but to change you.
The best way I can describe grief is like a calm sea with underwater currents rippling beneath creating waves upon the surface.
Some days those waves crash subduedly off the seashore, some days they crash aggressively off the rocks.
Then they will subside quietly before becoming softer and softer until they return beneath the surface again to regenerate fresh waves for another day.
There’s nothing wrong with these waves, it’s a completely natural cycle lets say. The important thing is that we have to learn how to move harmoniously to their motion.
We cannot try and swim against them even at times when they are relentless and unmerciful, completely unreassuring that they’ll ever stop crashing or try to pull us out to sea.
Other times they are mild and exhausted, unrhythmical they surrender for the wind to carry them to shore.
You can never be sure what the waves may have in store on any given day. The laws of nature are cruel and unforgiving.
The not knowing, the wondering, the whys, the hows, the could’ve beens, the guilt, the fear, the helplessness, the nonacceptance of the stone cold reality staring you right in the face with nowhere to run.
It’s something you bare for the rest of your life no matter what stage you are at.
While you do not always feel the gut-wrenching pain that succumbed you initially, you have to live with a certain pain internally for a very long time, most likely forever.
When the day is dark and thick black clouds loom with the only corresponding sound being that of relentless rain pounding against your window.
As the drops trickle down the glass pane, a symbolical representation of the downward spiral that your life has plunged to non-existent hope.
Remember they are the reflection looking back at you in the mirror, they are the memory you so often replay and laugh at each time you do.
They are the gentle breeze across your face nudging you along as you feel peaceful and in-sync with the world.
They are the voice of positivity and good when your life persists to be tougher than you could ever have imagined.
They are everything you stand for and the person you strive to be. They are the healing you want to achieve, the laughter you’ll experience again.
They are the growth you will develop on your path because they have been and always will be a part of you!
It may not seem like it now or while you may not want to believe it at this point. Live knowing that their existence is still present if you want it to be.
Quiet the mind and believe they are with you.
When you look to the skies on a clear night and see the light of the stars resonating throughout the universe, be assured and regain hope that your fallen star has not really fallen, it’s not possible when it shines the brightest among the rest.
Smile through the pain and accept that it’s almost time to face a new day, even if it’s living with loss.