Love takes time, right? Well, yes and no. It is true that building the deep and meaningful connections necessary to have a successful long-term relationship isn’t something you can accomplish in an instant.
However, it is equally true that an initial attraction is necessary for success in getting this would-be love to devote time to you. Let’s face it, if you meet a blind date at a coffee shop, you pretty much know before the barista finished crafting your mocha whether this guy garners enough interest to be worth a second date.
Don’t let yourself be eliminated as a potential partner too quickly. Instead, put concerted effort into catching and keeping your date’s romantic attention.
Smile A Lot
Your expression can make a world of difference. If you spread a smile across your face, you send the message that you are happy. Swiss researchers found that people whose expression indicated happiness were deemed more attractive.
As an added bonus, smiling indicates to your partner that you actually like him, which will likely make him like you more as well.
Say Your Partner’s Name
In Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” he argues that people love to hear their own name. Be it their natural narcissism or the fact that hearing the repetition of their own name signals that you are truly attentive and focused, simply slipping the moniker into conversation can have a major impact on the level of interest your partner perceives you having in him and, in turn, influence his interest in you.
Listen Attentively
While it may seem beyond simple, in this fast-paced world full of distractions it is easy to allow your focus to slip away from your partner and on to something else. It will be fine if you wait until the end of your date to “like” the newest picture your college roommate posted of her six-month-old twins and that text from your mom asking if you want her help cleaning your apartment this weekend… equally unimportant.
Show your partner that you’re interested enough to focus your attention willingly on him alone. By doing so, you will both boost his confidence and show him that you’re the kind and considerate partner he’s been seeking.
Adjust Your Walking Speed
Not only is it, like, beyond rude to leave your date in your dust as you briskly walk toward your final destination, modulating your walking speed could actually increase the affection this individual feels for you.
A University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign found that adjusting your walking pace to match the individual with whom you are walking sends the message that you care about the person and make them feel more supported.
Do Something Exciting Right Away
Fair or not, what you do in the minutes after you first meet can play a critical role in determining whether you make it to date two. Psychologists Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron proved this in a 1974 study. In their study, Dutton and Aron found that men who met women under more thrilling circumstances were more likely to express interest in seeing these women again.
This was due, they argued, to a phenomenon called “misattribution of arousal.” Their claim is that the men confused their anxiety for arousal and, as a result, more naturally drawn to the women who they encountered in more thrilling settings.
While this might be a little bit more trickery than you would normally employ, if you’re serious about snagging this guy, selecting a thrilling date option may be worth it.
Wear Something Red
Researchers in Slovakia found that women who wore red were more successful on dates than women wearing any other color. These researchers hypothesized that this was because red is commonly used in the animal world to signal mates.
Whatever the reason, if you’re trying to decide between your blue dress or your red one, you’d likely do better to go with the latter.
Touch Your Date
Physically connecting with your date can do wonders, particularly as so many of our technology-aided modern communications don’t allow for this type of connection. This being said, don’t be a creeper either.
If the opportunity presents itself and you can, without seeming nuts, reach out and touch his arm or something similarly non-threatening, do so. If this occasion doesn’t arise, don’t force it, as you will likely do more harm than good.
