Getting into a relationship is something that is fraught with nervousness, uncertainty and even hope. You want it to proceed to turn into the relationship you’ve always dreamed of having.
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Sometimes it can be difficult to determine if the person you’re with is the right one and whether your relationship is something worth continuing and preserving or if it might be best to cut your losses and move on.
Fortunately, there are plenty of experts out there who will help you figure things out one way or the other. Chances are that if you’re questioning your current relationship, it means something to you and is worth doing some research to decide whether it’s a good one or not.
Here is what the experts say defines a good relationship. If you find that yours measures up, going forward is a great idea. If not, it’s time to reflect on whether you want to move on.
You Think The Same
Of course, no two people are the same so there is bound to be differences of opinion between the two of you. However, a good relationship is one where both people are on the same page. That means you’re both invested in the partnership and want to commit and go forward together.
If either of you don’t want those things, the relationship might not be a good one, especially if you’re the one who wants a commitment and your partner doesn’t. Wanting different things doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.
You Aren’t Playing Games
The sad truth is that men and women often play games with each other, which can seriously wreck an otherwise great relationship. The best way to avoid this from damaging what the two of you have is to talk things out.
Doing this can often help to keep your relationship strong and healthy. Letting things fester could spell the end of your partnership, as lying, jealousy and insecurity takes the place of love and fuzzy feelings toward one another.
You Communicate Openly
Speaking of talking things out, a good relationship is one where you both talk about things and avoid keeping things from each other. That means talking over the good things and the bad things so that you both know how the other feels.
This allows you to strengthen your bond when times are good and work through problems when times aren’t so good. If you need help with effective communication, a couple’s therapist could help.
You Value Honesty
Half-truths, outright lying and withholding information are all things that spell trouble for a relationship. A good partnership values honesty about everything. A true relationship doesn’t concern itself with the vulnerability of being totally honest, but ensures that both people are there for each other, no matter what.
This also means that the two of you keep each other’s secrets and preserve the fragility of a relationship by not airing each other’s dirty laundry.
There Is No Room For Perfection
Both people in a relationship must understand and accept that perfection isn’t possible and that it’s never going to happen. No relationship can be a good one when one or the other expects their partner to be perfect.
No person is perfect, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t the right person for you to spend your life with. Once you accept each other’s flaws, you can move forward and build a relationship that has longevity, acceptance and love for the person you are, not who you could be.
You Don’t Need To Be Together All The Time
A good relationship is one that centers on teamwork and a 100 percent effort from both partners to make it work. However, that doesn’t mean the two of you have to do everything together.
A good relationship is also one that recognizes the difference between partners and allows each other to pursue individual passions and interests without jealousy or feelings of resentment. Teamwork and freedom both have a place in a healthy relationship.
Love Is Shown Through Words And Deeds
It’s one thing to say you love each other, but it’s another thing entirely to show it by your actions. Anyone can say “I love you,” but a good relationship is one where both partners are showing their love any chance they get.
You have to back up your words with deeds that prove you mean what you say. This can be both small gestures, such as bringing your partner a drink while you’re in the kitchen, but it also means doing the big things, like getting up in the middle of the night to rescue your partner when they have a broken-down car.
Knowing you can count on each other to show love is what makes for a great partnership.
There’s Room For Growth
A good relationship allows for both personal growth and a growth within your partnership. Both people in a relationship should be encouraging each other to be their best and backing them up when they want to make a change, such as making a career switch or going back to school.
That means taking on more responsibility when needed, offering advice and maybe even shouldering a financial burden to make it work. Good partnerships are encouraging and supportive.
Outsiders Have No Say
Your relationship is your business and people outside of it should have no say in how you do things or how you solve problems. Part of this involves keeping your private business to yourself. You need to work things out in private and celebrate in private without letting the world in every time.
A relationship is between two people, not those two people and everyone around them. If you truly feel you need help, therapy is a viable option and is much more effective and successful than getting outsiders involved.
Having a relationship can be a wonderful part of your life if it’s the right one for you. It’s a good idea to evaluate your partnership periodically so that you can make changes and work through issues as you go.
It’s also a good idea to reflect on things before you make a huge commitment, such as moving in together or getting married. Good relationships take work, and just because things are great now, it doesn’t mean that you can slack off and neglect your relationship. You have to give it lots of attention all the time, or it could stop being good.
This requires constant commitment from both of you all the time. Seeking counseling is nothing to be ashamed about and can actually save a good relationship that is going through a rough patch.
The bottom line is that a good relationship can have its ups and downs, but once you know it’s the one, it’s absolutely vital to feed it and nurture it so that it continues to grow and stays healthy for a lifetime.