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How To Control Your Anger Before It Controls You

Anger is a natural response to things we experience in life. However, if you’re not careful about the way you regulate it, losing your temper can become an extremely destructive habit.
Sometimes, it can even interfere with your ability to successfully hold employment, maintain meaningful relationships and meet goals. On the other hand, there are many very highly successful people who have learned how to harness their anger so it doesn’t overwhelm them.

Keep reading to learn some relevant and valuable strategies.

Recognize That Anger Is A Natural Response

Some people are prone to being very hard on themselves when they notice that they lose their temper too frequently. They may even convince themselves that there’s something wrong if they’re not able to demonstrate a healthier emotion besides anger.

It’s so important to see anger as an emotion that everyone deals with from time to time. Even an experienced meditator who always seems to be outwardly calm can find themselves handling anger occasionally.

The sooner you can embrace anger by understanding that it’s natural and inevitable, the quicker you’ll be able to thoroughly explore the ways in which you deal with it.

Don’t Be Too Quick To Make It Seem That You Are Blaming Others

It’s easy to unintentionally use hurtful or blaming language when you’re upset. Even saying something like “You always make me late!” could cause communication breakdowns that make it very difficult to get your point across in a meaningful way.

Rather than starting a sentence with the word “you,” re-frame your perspective by using “I” statements. Try saying, “I really don’t like being late. Is there anything I can do to help so that we reach our destination on time more often?”

Taking that approach shows a willingness to take some responsibility for the things that are making you angry and demonstrates your primary goal isn’t to come down hard on the people in your life.

Stay Focused On Constructive Things

Even when another person has directly caused your anger, there is often not much use in wasting time with finger pointing. The things that have already happened can’t be erased, but you can potentially make a positive difference by taking constructive action as much as possible.

If you’re upset because your significant other didn’t mention that they were working late and didn’t need you to cook dinner after all, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of getting mad at that person for not communicating very clearly about plans.

Instead of being so centered on that shortcoming, try to make the conversation progress so that the both of you are figuring out ways to avoid such problems in the future.

Don’t Respond When You’re Overly Emotional

Anger can sometimes be so intense that it feels like it has polluted your entire being. Once things get to that stage, it’s extremely difficult to think rationally. Also, you may end up saying or doing things you later regret, because the influence of anger is so strong.

Resist the urge to respond immediately when something happens to make you angry. Experiment with different strategies that can help you calm down in the moment.

Examples include deep breathing exercises, visualization or just leaving the immediate area to go take a brisk walk. Whenever possible, work hard to withhold responses until you have reached a point where you’re feeling clear-headed again.

Refuse To Hold Grudges

There aren’t any benefits associated with holding grudges against people you feel have done something to make you angry or otherwise hurt you. On the contrary, holding a grudge can actually be exhausting for you.

Over time, your view of the world can become increasingly negative, causing you to become cynical and have trouble trusting people. Even though it’s hard, try your best to make it clear to the person who has caused your anger that you have no desire to drive a wedge between the two of you.

It’s also necessary to have the same attitude if you’ve discovered you’re harboring anger inside yourself for something you’ve done. Coach yourself to move past it rather than letting it continually dampen your spirit.

Pin ItThink About Getting Help

If you have been working hard to manage your anger on your own but aren’t making satisfactory progress, decide whether it may be helpful to work with a counselor or other person who specializes in helping people acquire and practice anger management skills. The things you learn could stay with you for the rest of your life.

Anger happens to everyone. The important thing is how it’s handled. You now have some proactive ways to tame your temper before it gets out of hand.

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Katherine Hurst
By Nancy Burnett
Nancy, a Master Coach and Certified Professional Co-Active Life Coach (CPCC) has a passion for helping her clients to live vibrant, authentic and fulfilling lives; lives that are under their total control and which have been shaped in exactly the way they want. She believes that you can live a life that you love and that it is possible to manifest your dreams into reality.

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