Why Caring Less Manifests More

I have always had big dreams of doing big things for big animals, even as a child. I also envisioned myself as a rich and famous actress.

Just as Audrey Hepburn helped children, I imagined I too could be rich, famous and save big animals.

Rhinoceroses to be exact.

I wanted to save orphans when I was in my early twenties.

I wanted to end female genital mutilation when I was in my late-twenties to early-thirties.

Now, in my mid-to-late thirties, my goal is to manifest the heck out of exactly what I want. Entirely.

What. I. Want. Not what I am going to fix or save after my mass accumulation of wealth.

This is NOT selfish. It is actually incredibly relevant to this day and age — and the possibilities 2018 holds for you. How?

When we have big goals of creating wealth in our lives, most of us immediately get a surge of doubt and an “icky” feeling about money.

This is primarily an unconscious reaction. Then we consciously create an altruistic philanthropic list of goals to justify our wanting an incredibly wealthy life and experience.

This battle between our conscious and unconscious beliefs plays out as a constant tug-of-war. We unconsciously repel money flowing into our life despite wanting it –and our unconscious wins because it is more powerful.

We ultimately burn out from the constant struggle and stress.

Burnout comes from an upstream swim and the stream is our thoughts. We typically focus on our fears and doubts of not accomplishing our goal.

However, the universal law of attraction manifests whatever we focus on – if the focus is on “can’t”, we can’t!

The law doesn’t have compartments or boxes. Yes or no don’t apply – it responds to thoughts and feelings, no matter what adjective we associate with it.

This works the same for the psychological law of focus. If we focus on “can’t”, eventually “can’t” becomes our reality. Our thoughts become things — science proves this over and over again — and we absolutely become what we think of most.

This “can’t” focus makes our work harder. Mesmerized by hustling, we eat poorly, sleep less and keep spending our money on courses and coaching hoping to find the one magic secret that will finally tip our business into the black. Welcome to swimming upstream!

How do we change this?

2017 was a very painful year for me in so many ways. I had developed herniated discs in my neck. Unable to work and financially stressed, I spent much of my time on the couch wondering why and how this had happened to me – a healthy, physically fit trainer and coach.

I felt like a failure. And I felt paralyzing fear as my orthopedic surgeon recommended surgery.

Then a fellow coach suggested that my unconscious mind might be blocking my healing.

The light bulb went on! I delved into books about mental and emotional pain manifesting in the body.

I dialed in on my predominate emotions that corresponded with the area of my body that was in pain and went to work in a state of flow.

Hustling was officially over for me. I physically could not keep up with the grind.

I recognized, more than anything on my healing journey, that I have always been predominantly externally motivated.

All my life goals and decisions were to prove how nice I was so that others would love me.

My goals were never set for the joy of the attainment or the pleasantness of what I wanted to experience.

The key then is to be internally motivated!

Internal motivation means we put blinders on to anything that doesn’t bring us closer to our vision or purpose.

If a politician passes a law we don’t agree with – blinder.
If a Facebook friend posts a rant that makes us feel awful – blinder.
If we happen to catch a news segment broadcasting a tragedy – blinder.

Think of a blinder as this mantra, “If I can’t control or influence this issue, I must blind myself to it.” The more we focus externally on what’s going on in the world around us, areas demographically or psychographically that we have no influence or control over, WE MUST TURN AWAY.

Here’s why:

By giving attention to negative circumstance we multiply it. It is law – Law of Attraction. We give it more power and we diminish our own.

What we must do is tune in, turn on and tap into what we are good at.

We are uniquely gifted with our talents and experiences. We are the only ones who can deliver what we deliver in our own way.

Once we get obsessed with our message, our business, and our goals, we become laser focused.

According to the four laws of focus, we can then attract the right people to learn from and collaborate with, the right clients who are happy to pay us what we’re worth and – all the experiences we want that were formally justified with our philanthropic “why.”

The best part of this entire equation?

Internal motivation + new beliefs and mindset + hanging with like-minded people = accomplishing our goals.

When we accomplish our goals, we can then fulfill our philanthropy from a heart of service and joy rather than neediness and approval.

In practice, this looks like:

• Take 5-10 minutes to free-write your vision, no editing allowed. Write in a state of gratitude for all the cool things you experienced personally, all the professional milestones you hit and all the giving you did for others in the world as if it already happened.
• Sleep on it or return to your vision after a few hours and distill it down to a one-sentence mantra you can memorize and/or easily post anywhere as a reminder.
• Create 3-5 habits, actions and attitudes the new YOU would do every day, and then do them consistently

Some tips and things to remember:

• The brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real or imagined, so engage your imagination 100%. Imagine foods you’d get to eat, weather you’d vacation in, the confidence you’d embody.
• Thoughts have mass and attract experiences in the material world from the mental world. By “blinding” yourself to current events that are painful to comprehend or just outright negative, you shield your life from negative events or painful experiences to a significant extent.
• By being totally focused on your desired outcomes and your vision, you train your mind to look for solutions vs. problems. In the event something unforeseen does happen, you can easily rebound and not fall victim to the event.
• If you live “as if” using the habits, actions, and attitudes of your future successful self, you will attract the right people and events to achieve your goals.