Did you know that more than half of your communications are non-verbal? With that in mind, it’s especially important to not only take care with what you say but be particularly conscious of the cues you’re displaying with your body. Keep reading to discover some of the top body language tricks that could make you more socially successful.
Smile Genuinely
You may have noticed that even when you smile at someone you don’t know, your gesture usually makes them smile back. That’s just one indicator of how powerful smiles can be if you’re trying to come across as friendly and down to earth. If you’re having a bad day, your sour mood can reflect on your face, not to mention within the rest of your body. Take decisive action by thinking of a funny or pleasant moment.
Then, the image in your mind should trigger an authentic smile. Sometimes a forced smile is worse than not smiling at all, so you definitely need to do all you can to make your smiles look and seem real to the people or person you’re with.
Mirror What Others Do
While you’re chatting with someone, pay attention and try to make your own movements match theirs. If your body language is strikingly different than that which is being displayed by the individual you’re in conversation with, that person may feel taken aback. However, when mimicking the movements you notice, be sure to do so in a way that seems natural and is not overly frequent.
Otherwise, this tactic, like the way you smile, may have the opposite effect than what you want by making someone feel upset, rather than comfortable in your presence. In essence, mirroring makes people like you more, because it seems like you are similar to them and allows you to build rapport.
Avoid Crossing Your Arms
What’s the first thing you think of if you see a person who has their arms crossed? More than likely, that image has the same effect as someone who’s sitting next to you on the bus and wearing a pair of earbuds: they’re showing they aren’t open to having a conversation. It can be difficult to remember to not cross your arms if you’re having a heated discussion and feeling a little angry. However, if you make an effort to keep your arms uncrossed, it makes you seem more open and approachable.
Don’t Fidget
When people are even mildly uncomfortable (with situations or themselves), they often start to fiddle with things like their watch bands, jewelry, zipper pulls or buttons. Usually, they don’t even realize it. However, it’s very smart to try to become more conscious of fidgeting if you often engage in actions like those, purely because you’re not totally comfortable. Fidgeting gives the impression that you’re distracted, and even worse, it lets others know that you’re not completely at ease.
Sometimes, visible nervousness carries over to the person you’re speaking to and makes them feel similarly edgy.
Whenever you catch yourself fidgeting, mentally remind yourself to keep your arms at your sides and as relaxed as possible. That will give the impression that you’re sure of yourself, even if your heart rate might indicate otherwise.
Make Eye Contact
Avoiding making eye contact with people might cause them to think that everything you say isn’t wholly honest. If you’re constantly looking sideways while talking, that may indicate to them that since you’re not being truthful, you’re afraid to look at them directly. Although a lack of eye contact alone doesn’t indicate you’re lying, many people have adopted the idea that it does. As much as you can, maintain a steady gaze with people when addressing them.
However, if you’re very shy and still find it very awkward to make eye contact, admit that honestly from the start of the conversation. You can simply say something like, “Because I’m naturally shy, I have trouble making eye contact with people until I know them extremely well. We’ve only met twice, so aren’t at that level yet, but I just wanted to let you know that there’s no reason to be offended. Making more eye contact is something I’m constantly working on.”
This is one example of how you can use verbal communication to help add clarity about a particular element of your body language so that people won’t make incorrect assumptions.
Uncross Your Legs
In the same way that crossed arms could make you seem unreceptive, crossed legs can as well. If you’re trying to come across to someone as being upfront and honest, keep your legs uncrossed. Plant them firmly on the floor and don’t tap, jiggle or otherwise move your feet in ways that could make you seem nervous or bored.
Stop Slumping
As a child, your parents probably urged you to sit up straight at the dinner table and have good posture while walking. As it turns out, that was good advice. If you’re slumped while sitting or standing to talk to someone, it could make you seem as if you’re not engaged in the conversation and that whatever the other person is saying isn’t sufficiently fascinating for you.
Keep in mind that good posture can also make you look more appealing. If you’re slouching, that position could appear to add pounds to your midsection. For best results, keep your shoulders squared and your back straight.
Give A Firm Handshake
If someone shakes your hand and it’s limp, they could come up with a number of bad perceptions. For example, they could think that you’re nervous, not excited to meet them or just not confident in yourself. Also, the above information about maintaining eye contact during a conversation applies here as well.
Consider that most people open and close conversations by shaking hands. In addition to making a good impact by shaking hands in a positively memorable way, you also need to get things off to a good start by keeping eye contact as you shake hands before starting or concluding a chat.
Keep Your Chin Up
People often say, “Keep your chin up!” to others while encouraging them, but the seemingly simple act of lifting your chin could also help you communicate that you’re proud of yourself and feel good about whatever it is you’re saying. If you’ve ever seen someone who’s going through a tough day, you may have initially been clued into that fact because they were going about their tasks with downcast eyes. Even from a distance, someone with their head down is a person who seems at least a little gloomy.
Also, realize that people often stare down at their hands if they’re nervous. That’s another reason to always keep your chin up when interacting with others.
Hopefully, these tips give you more insight about why our body language is almost as important as what we say, and it can certainly strengthen our words. Start using these suggestions soon to show others why they should know and like you.
