We’ve all experienced disappointment, but did you ever stop to think about how much of it we make for ourselves?
I once had a friend, “Anne,” who consistently blew me off when it came to attending events I wanted to see. It was always the same pattern: Anne would agree to go somewhere with me, seem enthusiastic, then fail to meet me there or answer my calls for a few days after. Then she’d call me, feed me some excuse, and the cycle would start again.
It took me some time to learn that while Anne just wasn’t the greatest of friends, me standing there sadly by myself at yet another concert was a situation I created. I knew Anne had a habit of standing me up, yet I kept on making plans with her anyway.
Once I adjusted my expectations when it came to Anne and planned accordingly, I never had another miserable, lonely night at something I really wanted to see. Try the following five ways to adjust your expectations and drop some frustration from your life today!
1. Don’t Expect Agreement
Nothing can hold you back more than waiting for validation from someone else. Don’t look for approval from others, and don’t expect others to seek approval from you. Make the decisions that are right for you to live your life to the fullest. The happier you are with the choices you make, the less you’ll worry about what other people think anyway.
2. Have Respect
People won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Treat yourself and others with love and respect, and other people will respond to you in kind. By loving yourself, you’ll become a happier person, and this makes you a better partner, friend, parent and family member.
3. Lose The Need To Be Liked
It may be hard at first, but don’t worry or waste your time on people who don’t like you or treat you how you deserved to be treated. The fact of the matter is that you can be the most perfect person in the world, and there were always be at least one person who doesn’t care for you. Spend time with people who care about you and like you. Don’t waste time or attention on people who don’t, as it’s not worth it and you probably won’t change their minds anyway.
4. Alter Your Perception
We have a habit of seeing people how we want to see them instead of who they truly are. But when you do that, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment when they don’t fit the image you have and missing what makes them unique. Appreciate people for who they are, not who you want them to be.
Seeing people in a realistic light also means accepting their flaws. Don’t expect anyone to change just because you want him or her to. While you can approach someone about a behavior or habit you don’t feel you can handle, keep in mind they don’t have any obligation to change simply because you asked. You may have to accept that flaw or live without that person in your life instead.
5. Speak Your Mind
People can’t read your mind. Your boss doesn’t know you feel you deserve a raise if you never tell him or her. Your partner doesn’t know you feel unappreciated until you open your mouth and speak the words.
Don’t wait for people to realize what you already know. Speak openly and honestly. By communicating regularly and directly on a regular basis, you’ll experience more satisfaction and less frustration.