Think back to middle school, when the teacher would say, much to the delight of the class, that it was time for partner work. Anxious and excited eyes would dart around the classroom, looking for a nod of understanding, of acceptance, from a peer. Duos would work, each consisting of two happy participants; each individual happy to have someone by his or her side to face this next academic challenge.
But there would always remain the few, the lonely, the unpaired. This everyday experience is adult romantic pairing in microcosm. No one really wants to be that unpaired party, and it is for that reason that so many quest, through scorching desert and rainy city street and overfilled nightclub, for that special someone.
But, how do you know if the partner you have found is actually that ideal mate, or, instead, just another random single who will be good to hang around with at a bar, but who won’t offer the sustained support you need to faithfully complete your Greek gods and goddesses collage? If you find yourself questioning this ultimate sustainability, look for the following signs:
1. No Need To Change
Many participants in romantic relationships find themselves thinking, “He would like me so much more if I were shorter / taller / funnier / more serious / thinner / more voluptuous.” All of this second guessing and aspiring to be different can be downright exhausting.
Even if you do change, modifying who you are permanently is nearly impossible. If you’ve found the one, you won’t feel this need to be different. You will know that he fell in love with the perfect person that you already are.
2. The Boring’s Suddenly Not Boring
If you find yourself listening to your date partner prattle on while you watch the ice cubes melt into your drink, all the while wishing he would shut his yapper, he probably isn’t the one. When you have found your special someone, you will likely find almost everything that comes out of his mouth engaging, because you will find him so inexplicably magnetizing.
As a result, if you’re listening to the guy across from you talk about the location of his sixth grade locker and you find yourself entranced, he just may be the one.
3. Loved Ones Love Him
You can make it work with someone who your friends and family don’t like, at least in the short term. However, at the end of the day the truth remains that your loved ones probably have a reason for not liking him.
When you try to force this Romeo and Juliet style love affair to work you increase your chances of ending up brokenhearted at best or downing some vial of weird poison in a creepy crypt at worst. If, on the other hand, your friends and family are as head over heels for you new guy as you are, you might just have found that happily-ever-after man.
4. You Want The Same Things
To build a life that makes both you and your partner happy, you have to both want the same things out of life. With so many avenues at your disposal, finding someone who wants to stroll down the same ones as you can be quite the daunting task.
If your “what does your ideal future look like” conversations with your latest beau indicate that his dream life mirrors yours, you have likely find the perfect partner in making this picket-fence dream a reality.
5. Fighting Doesn’t Phase You
Some people think that if you’ve found that perfect person you will never get into a fight. Sadly, this isn’t quite true. Unless your prefect person is a cyborg who has no thoughts or feelings of his own and wants only to be plugged into your USB port from time to time, you are going to have periods of disagreement.
If you’ve found the right person, however, these disagreements won’t be knock-down, drag-out fights, but instead short spats that end in mutually satisfactory resolutions. In addition, once put to bed, these former conflicts will remain a thing of the past and won’t be continually resurrected each time a new issue flames up.