Dating is rough. It can push you around and knock you down so many times you’ll feel like you’re nothing and shouldn’t even bother.
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So why do we do it? Because we are human and we all want love, affection, and someone to count on.
I’ve only been back in the dating scene for a couple of months but I don’t think I’ve ever had so much stress in my life before, partly because I have a highly sensitive personality but also partly because dating just literally sucks.
Everyone will tell you that.
It hasn’t all been bad though. It’s always great meeting new people and stepping out of your comfort zone, and I have definitely learned a lot of valuable lessons about not only dating in general, but about life and about myself as a person.
Below are some of the most important things to keep in mind.
1. Always Be Yourself
This is crucial, yet probably the most difficult. Being yourself while dating can be challenging because you want the other person to like you and you may be afraid that if you show your flaws or imperfections they won’t.
But no one is perfect and when you are not yourself, you’re not being authentic. If someone sees you as you are and chooses not to stick around, they weren’t meant for you to begin with.
This can come into play with anyone in your life, not just people you’re dating.
2. Accept Yourself
Acceptance of oneself is kind of the backbone to everything else: self-awareness, confidence, belief in yourself, etc.
When you can accept yourself, you let others accept you and in turn, love you.
If you struggle to accept who you are, you’ll reflect that onto others and doubt creeps in.
Confidence in your own beauty. Confidence in your abilities, your personality, yourself.
Confidence while dating is sometimes the hardest part. It takes a lot of courage in the first place to put yourself out there and get out of your comfort zone.
Believing in yourself and having confidence helps others see that within you as well.
4. Get A Backbone
Unfortunately, the sad truth to dating is that you’ll have to say no and also take no in return.
If you have trouble with either of those, everything will be ten times harder. I had a really hard time (and I still do) with this because I take things personally.
This is where having a backbone comes in handy. There will be canceled dates, people that ghost you, people that lie and other major disappointments, so you need to be able to let those things roll off your shoulders.
If you take it personally, you’ll ruin yourself.
5. Date Because You Want To
Not because you need validation or attention. No one should have to complete you, you are whole on your own.
No one should need to make you feel good about yourself, you need to do that on your own.
Yes, dating is hard and sometimes feels worthless, but finding your forever, takes time. Be patient. Take your time and have high standards.
Don’t ever settle, because you deserve the best.