4 Steps To Create A Behavioral Change

Have you ever heard the saying “you can’t see the wood for the trees”?

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A few days ago I realized it wasn’t just the wood I wasn’t seeing, but the whole tree.

Having been out for dinner with a friend, I had a feeling of not wanting the night to end. I wanted to have fun, I wanted to carry on. I realized, on reflection, I was looking for some kind of thrill.

As my friend couldn’t stay out, I took myself home thinking that my future self would be grateful to wake up the next day feeling more fresh-faced than I would have if I’d stayed out partying.

I was right. But the feeling of the ‘thrill’ I’d been seeking got me thinking. I pulled out my journal and started to write, letting my thoughts flow freely onto the page. Slowly but surely, I recognized a pattern in me that I’d never noticed before.

I’d moved house a LOT since I was 20. Having moved from England to Scotland only 4 years ago, I had still managed to move house 3 times in that period.

I’d traveled a lot, often visiting more far-flung destinations such as South America.

I’d also been the person who 7 years ago, had left behind a perfectly good career in Human Resources to go on and set up a private practice as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist.

I’d always thought that I just liked change and was comfortable with change. But as the words continued to flow onto the page, my mind started to see a different pattern emerging.

I recognized what each change – be a change in location, change in home, change of scenery, change of career, change in routine was giving me deep down – it gave me a feeling of excitement, a thrill.

And when I was excited, I was more in flow, in the moment, enjoying life. And when I felt that emotion, that’s when I experienced feeling the most connected to Source and the Universe.

Sitting with this newfound insight, I realized that’s why I had never been content to settle in one place, to put down roots.

To me, this insight was so liberating and so powerful. There had been a big part of me crying out for stability, to feel settled. Yet here I was constantly chopping and changing.

And if I wasn’t the one initiating the change, I realized from the law of attraction perspective, I was drawing to my situations and people, which meant I had to create a change in some area of my life.

Armed with this knowledge, I recognized that I can create a feeling of excitement and connection to Source without needing to uproot my life.

I thought of things I could start doing more of, like taking a day trip or a weekend trip to feed my need for ‘newness’ and connection to the Divine without having to take off around the world for 6 weeks!

Is there is an aspect of your behavior that you would like to change? Like me, you can use these steps to create a change that works for you!

1. Self Reflection

To create a change in your behavior, you need to reflect on what roads you keep traveling down.

To me, the simplest way of doing this is by journaling. I journal most days. Some days I may write a few words about what I am feeling and why. On other days I fill pages and pages.

What this allows you to do is to start making sense of your thoughts and feelings, and enables you to start to identify your patterns, the programmes you are running.

2. What Emotion Are You Chasing?

When you have identified a pattern in your behavior, ask yourself, ‘what is it I am really looking for?’ Review your pattern and ask yourself what feeling did the behavior create in you.

In my case, it was a feeling of newness, of excitement.

3. How Does The Feeling Serve You?

I recognized that the feeling I experienced gave me a one-way ticket to Source, the Universe.

That absolute connection to the Divine. Whatever the emotion you pinpoint, it will have a higher purpose – a reason for being there.

So think about the ways it serves you.

4. How Else Can You Create The Feeling?

You may find, for example, that you eat more because it brings you a feeling of love.

If you were always praised as a child for ‘finishing up your food’ that may be a pattern you have continued to run because deep down, you are looking to recreate a feeling of love.

Look at what other, healthier, happier ways you can create the feeling you are seeking in a way that works better for you and puts you in control.

The result? I’m now buying a house, putting down roots, planning small trips away for the weekend and feeling a much greater sense of control, empowerment and balance in my life.

I now feel more connected to Source than ever, because I was always connected – I was just too busy chasing the feeling to recognize that!

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