I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “happiness comes from within” and nothing external is going to secure your happiness. However sometimes it feels like if you had more money or if you could just have a better job or relationship then you would feel happier than you are now.
I used to live in a constant state of if only thoughts. If only I had a better job… If only I had more money… If only I had the perfect relationship. It didn’t serve me and I was never happy. I used to always hear people say well happiness comes from within. I looked within and found I was lacking, not even a glimpse of happiness.
This state of lacking is what kept me from truly being happy and it was never going to matter what outside treasures I found. I would never be happy because my focus was on the things I didn’t have and I was seeking happiness in the wrong place. I was achieving what I thought I wanted but it never made a difference to the way I felt.
Now there is nothing wrong with wanting more for yourself but do you really want to feel unhappy with yourself on this journey for more? Happiness is a choice and you can choose to be happy with where you are now while still seeking to improve your life.
If you want to find happiness within yourself instead of searching for it in the outside world then try these three things.
It all starts with gratitude, being grateful for what you already have and acknowledging the good things that happen daily. We have a tendency to focus on the bad things and let them override the good that is going on in our life. It is possible to acknowledge the negative thoughts that creep into our minds, let them go and choose to focus on the positive.
Try keeping a daily gratitude journal for a month and see the difference it makes, it can completely change your outlook and you may not want to give it up.
Not everybody is going to live life according to your rules and at some point in your life you may feel someone has wronged you. Being able to forgive is a freeing feeling. It is not about saying what the person did is ok it is about letting go of those feelings of anger and resentment and freeing yourself.
When you hold on to these feelings they eat away at you and so when you make this shift you can lighten the load you carry emotionally.
Choose happiness over the pain that you feel. Forgiveness can take time don’t force yourself it will happen naturally with time and it is more for your benefit that the other person.
Show yourself compassion and don’t be too hard on yourself. Often we go through life expecting far too much of ourselves, it’s time to give yourself a break. It’s ok to not be the best at everything, it’s ok to make mistakes, nobody’s perfect.
Stop dwelling on the past because you don’t have a time machine so you can’t change it. Show yourself kindness and understanding and it will help you to extend this to others. Let yourself experience the full range of human emotions naturally, there is no need to force yourself to pick yourself up and move on immediately.
Give yourself the opportunity to acknowledge the emotions you feel and then choose how to act after that. Operate from a place of compassion for yourself and others.
Good luck in your journey to finding happiness within you!