A lot of unhappiness stems from living your life the way others would have you do, while neglecting what you want from life. You might feel like some form of string puppet that dances to another’s tune, without having the option to set the beat of the music yourself.
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Getting away from these patterns can be a struggle at times, but it pays off in the end. Here are some steps you can take to regain control of your life and live it as you see fit, especially after having lived it for the sake of others for a long time.
1. What Is Life About For You?
Take some time to yourself, away from others, or at least people who make you feel like you do, and meditate on this question. You need some seclusion as you will need to look deep inside yourself for the answer. You really need to be away from the people in your life to do this as they will influence you, maybe even without them knowing about it, and that is exactly what you don’t need right now. Their intentions may be very good, but it is hindering you in finding what you want your path to be. Take a moment to be completely selfish, and you can figure out what needs doing for you to be you.
So sit down, breathe deep and ask yourself some questions about basic things, for example about having children, or becoming wealthy, or having lots of free time. By taking this pause and thinking about what you want, you can also start discovering who you are when your friends and family aren’t around.
2. What Has Kept You From Achieving What You Want?
Once you have an idea of what you want from life, try to think about what it is that has kept you from achieving these goals in the past. Be honest about it, too, sometimes we are our own worst enemy and you can’t always shift to blame to forces outside your control. Once you have an idea of what is keeping you back, try to make sure that these things, traits ad people will have less control over you. The best way to do this is by simply cutting certain people or activities out of your life, or just limiting the time spent with them. A particularly negative family member can usually not be ignored entirely, but you can make sure you limit your exposure to them as much as possible. Certain bad habits need to culled entirely, usually, though it may be wise to consult a professional if any of these involve drink or drugs.
3. Live More Honestly
Now that you’ve gone soul-searching and come back with a plan to improve your life by cutting bad habits and toxic people, you need to stick to the new you. You’re going to have to live an honest life devoid of excuses to stay happy. The hard look you gave yourself in the first step can’t be the last one you ever give yourself, you need to remain candid at all times just to make sure you don’t fall back into old habits. None of us are born living the perfect life, all of us struggle to achieve and maintain it. By taking personal inventories from time to time and not being afraid to occasionally change our goals when our own interests have shifted we can make sure that the life we lead is always the one we want to be living at any given time.