One second, everything is going well, you’re happy with your partner and wondering what the future will bring.
By the next second, you hearing the dreaded, “We need to talk…” and wondering what went wrong.
You had no idea your partner felt the way he or she did, and the entire situation has left you blindsided.
If this sounds familiar, don’t worry! You’re not alone. Plenty of us have had relationships hit the rails with little-to-no warning, and it’s often because we miss some common mistakes we were making.
While nothing can guarantee a happy-ending, here are some tips on identifying and avoiding three usual relationship missteps.
Taking Your Partner for Granted
It’s easy to take anyone who is a stable presence in your life for granted, and this is especially true for someone with whom you’re in a relationship. While letting some things go is fairly normal in a relationship after a while, taking too much for granted can erode things over time, as it essentially leads to taking advantage of the other person.
A person who feels being taken for granted often experiences loneliness, a loss of self-esteem and other negative emotions, according to “Psychology Today”.
Luckily, re-focusing your attention and easing back on bad habits is simple with a little reflection. Think about what it would be like if your partner was suddenly gone from your life.
Allow yourself to sample the emotions you’d experience if that were to happen, and use those feelings to remind yourself to give your partner the extra attention he or she deserves.
Taking To Everyone But Your Partner
It’s only natural to let off a little steam by talking to friends and family members when you’re frustrated in your relationship, particularly when it’s over “little” things that you don’t feel are important enough to discuss with your partner. But doing that can backfire on more than one level.
If your complaints get back to your partner, for instance, he or she is going to feel hurt and may even lose trust in you. You’re also not working on your relationship problems in a genuine capacity, as even small things can pile up and cloud your perception of your partner.
Speak to your partner directly when something is really bothering you about his or her behavior, no matter how minor it is. Bottling up even just minor frustrations can negatively impact your mental health, so you need to be open about what’s bugging you for you and your partner’s sake.
Discuss why you get annoyed with certain things your partner does, and give him or her a chance to talk about what’s bothering them as well. Work together so you’re both changing negative behaviors and improving your relationship on the whole.
People go through rough patches, such as job loss or medical problems, which can make them less than ideal in a relationship at times. When you’re going through a time when your partner is in a bad situation or under a lot of stress, it can be tempting to give up on the relationship and start going through the motions.
You may not even realize it’s happening, but red flags include not supporting as much as you have in the past or losing your patience more often.
Resolve to see the light at the end of tunnel, and work on helping your partner see it too.
Talk positively, do the little things you know cheer your partner up, and try to keep your optimism level as high as you can without faking it.
Tough times can make a relationship stronger in the end if you two can see it all the way through.