Good relationships are important to having a good quality of life. When you have healthy partnerships, you have the support and back-up you need for the good and the bad times. However, some relationships are not positive and can actually harm you and make your life less than ideal.
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If you are someone who feels as if you constantly attract the poor relationships, it might be time to reassess how you approach them so that you can surround yourself with only the people who are good for you and can make your life great on a daily basis.
Wondering how to do that? Follow these easy tips and you will probably notice that you are better able to form positive interactions with other people, so you can form solid and healthy relationships with all of the people in your life.
1. You’ve Got To Like Yourself
Before you can expect to let people who truly like you into your life, you’ve got to learn to like yourself first. When you don’t have a good self-image and come down on yourself, how can you even think about finding someone who sees the best in you?
By learning to love who you are, you will know what great qualities you have so that you can enhance them and show them off to potential partners or friends. If you don’t like anything about yourself, chances are that other people won’t be able to see what’s good about you. Experts suggest telling yourself what you like, either by writing it down or saying it out loud.
2. Take Good Care Of Yourself
This goes along with telling yourself why you’re such a great person. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will have very little left over to give to other people. Without that, it’s hard to build a healthy relationship, because you feel upset and resentful of the demands on your time and energy.
At the same time, if you don’t make a habit of caring for yourself, you don’t give anyone else a reason to care for you either. When you set aside time for self-care on a daily basis, you show people that you expect to be cared for and loved, and that will attract the people who are willing to do so.
3. Decide What Makes A Good Relationship
Before you can form good relationships, you have to decide what that means to you. Make a list of what you want in a relationship and what you don’t want. That way you can decide pretty early on if a person is someone you want to pursue a relationship with.
As time goes on and things change, your list might change to go along with it. If a relationship stops feeling positive, consider going back to your list and going through it again and deciding if the qualities and traits on the list have changed.
4. Stop Thinking You Can Change Someone
Sure, you might be able to influence a person to want to change, but the only person who can change that person is herself or himself. When you enter a relationship, don’t go into it thinking you can just change the things you don’t like about the person.
Experts agree that you can’t change a person, so if they have qualities or behaviors that are deal breakers for you, it’s probably time to cut your losses and end the relationship rather than holding on and hoping for the best.
5. Leave Your Baggage Behind
No one goes into a new relationship without the baggage from previous partnerships. Clearly, that baggage shapes who you are and how to approach a relationship, but try not to let it define how things progress.
Each new person is the chance to start again and create a positive relationship, so don’t assume that the damage from previous relationships applies to the new one. If you are leaving a particularly poor relationship, think about getting some therapy to help you work through the issues and move past them.
6. Talk Nicely To Yourself
You can’t expect people to speak kindly to you if you don’t speak kindly to yourself. If you’re willing to say negative things about yourself, you make it pretty easy for others to do the same thing to you. The problem is that if you allow yourself to say those hurtful things, chances are that you’ll allow others to say them to you as well.
The way you speak to yourself sets the bar for how you allow others to speak to you, so make sure you say nice things to yourself, and you set the example for how you want to be treated by others when you have a relationship.
7. Be Open To Meeting New People
If you have a “type”, you might want to try dating other people outside that type. If those relationships have ended poorly in the past, keeping an open mind and being open to meeting new people makes it possible to find a positive relationship with someone you might not otherwise consider dating.
Try new things or accept invitations to events that don’t normally interest you, and you may find just the person you’ve been looking for.
8. Just Have Fun
Instead of worrying about finding someone new, just enjoy the here and now. Have fun doing new things and spending time with new people, and forget about the rest of it. As time goes by, you might find yourself forming a positive new relationship without even having to think too much about it. Maybe you’ll wind up making some great new friends, even if things never get romantic.
9. Ignore The Naysayers
Someone is always going to be willing to give you advice about how to meet someone new, but you need to tune them out and do things your own way. That advice might truly be given to help you, but may not be the best for you or your situation.
Decide what you want in a new relationship and how you will go about meeting that person. As you consider your options, be willing to listen to what others say, but only if it’s going to help you on your way. Otherwise, be polite, but feel free to ignore what you want or need to.
10. Don’t Focus On The Future
When you get into a new relationship, it’s easy to get sucked into concentrating on the future the two of you might have together. Instead, focus on getting to know each other, and use the tips above to ensure that the partnership progresses forward in a healthy and positive way. The rest will take care of itself.
Healthy and positive relationships are a great part of life, and if you continue struggling to find the right people, consider therapy to help you get to the bottom of why you keep choosing the wrong partner. Otherwise, go ahead and enjoy your life and take great care of yourself, and the right people will come along when they are meant to. This will make for a much happier lifestyle all around.
