We’ve all met them. You know: the folks who always feel “victimized,” “cheated”, “put upon,” “unlucky,” “targeted,” “slighted.”
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The friend, family member, or mate who forever attributes his/her bad breaks, broken relationships, misfortunes, and downfalls to the actions of others. Clueless to their respective role in the events unfolding; they are painfully unaware of the cause and effect dynamics of most things in life.
That, for instance, excessive tardiness can lead to being fired from a job. Or, excessive indulgence in alcohol, fast foods, and risky behaviors can adversely impact one’s health and contribute to premature death. They simply don’t get it.
Of course, this is not to trivialize or deny that most of us have had to contend with negative things or events, for which we had no control over; unfortunate happenings imposed upon us, that we didn’t deserve, for seemingly no logical reason. Things like: the death of a loved one, health challenges due to aging, tough economic times, acts of violence around us.
Most of us, however, are able to navigate these “troubled waters” with a little maturity, grace, and acceptance. We try to learn what we can from the lesson and move on. Then, there are others who whine, finger-point, blame, accuse and deflect. Unable to see that there are no real winners in the “blame game.”
Blame Blinds Us
It keeps us bitter, negative, and attached to the person or situation upon which we focus. This wastes time, energy, and causes unneeded stress. It’s like being imprisoned. It deprives us of the opportunity to develop character, grow, become introspective, and strengthen our spiritual foundation. As the expression goes: “There is none so blind as he who will not see.”
Blame is Counterproductive
To borrow the words of Dr. Phil: “So, how’s that workin’ out for ya’?” Blame rarely accomplishes anything constructive or productive. Think of all the other things you could be doing with your time, energy and thoughts! Blame makes us feel disempowered. When in fact, we do have a choice. As a wise man once said: “Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.”
Claim your blame. Then move forward in the spirit of peace, closure and progress.