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1. Hold On To Your N.U.Ts. Non-Negotiable Unalterable Terms.
Decide on your priorities. You need to know what the most important thing is for you and what you are not ready to compromise. It can be something broad, like your health, or something very specific, like the salary level.
2. Be Honest And Direct.
Instead of being passive-aggressive, state clearly what you want, and make sure the other person understood what you were saying.
You will be tempted to not speak up, because being honest can be awkward or confronting. It may be easier to just compromise, but in the long-term this line of behavior won’t get you very far.
If you want something, first be honest about it with yourself, then, choose the right words, and convey the messages across.
3. Fake It Till You Make It.
Basically, act confident to start feeling confident. Body language is what is going to help you here. Here are a few things to bear in mind:
- Stand upright, keep your back and shoulders straight;
- Maintain eye contact;
- Relax and don’t fidget;
- Speak clearly and not too quiet;
- Move around a little bit, it will make you look less tense and more powerful;
- Dress appropriately;
- Smile
4. Use “I” Statements Instead Of “You” Statements.
If you use too many “you” statements, the person you are speaking to is likely to feel blamed, as a result he or she will get defensive and resentful. You don’t want that. In order to get the other person to cooperate, use “I-Statements” instead.
Notice the difference between these two:
- “Where is the report YOU were supposed to finish yesterday? The whole team is waiting for YOU”
- “I am feeling a little stressed because I don’t have that report yet”
What statement do you think would get a better response ?
