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Remember the last time you met someone who inspired instant feelings of attraction? The exciting zing of sexual chemistry can be addictive and overwhelming, and it’s sometimes a precursor to something even more intense—love. But why do you experience that strong attraction to some people, and not others? Watch this three and a half minute video to shed some light on this key question.
In this DNews presentation, the key issue is what goes on when we’re attracted to others. The link between animal and human behavior is explored, and our mammal natures juxtaposed with the free will we have to choose our partners.
Although we make a conscious decision to settle down with someone, it turns out that a lot of this choice is influenced by subconscious detection of signs that someone is a good genetic match for creating healthy offspring—even if your conscious mind doesn’t think it wants children!
The video also touches on some cutting-edge research on the nature of love, primarily conducted by Helen Fisher. This research informs our knowledge of the hormones that play a role in partner choice, attraction and sexual response.
As you’ll see, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and more are all key to the process, and the amount of certain sex hormones that you secrete (as well as when) is actually part of what someone else is detecting when they find you irresistible at first sight.
One of the important takeaways here is that we’re off the hook to a certain extent when it comes to attraction. While we can control our behavior, more primitive parts of brain choose when we’re attracted to someone—and when we’re not.
So don’t feel bad when someone just can’t see you as more than a friend, or blame yourself for lusting after that coworker—just make it sure it doesn’t influence your behavior too much!