We don’t often think of the word resilience as a way of life or a skill to harness and cultivate. Most people think of resilience as something you either have or you don’t.
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Whether you are facing the biggest loss of your life or simply navigating the day-to-day trials of being a human being, knowing how to face adversity with a sense of self-efficacy is the key to living life with purpose and being able to withstand the heat as you go after the life of your dreams next year!
I have always known on some level that our ability to face adversity in life and move through it with grace and grit is something that is learned. It is a skill rather than something we are either born with or not. However, it wasn’t until I had walked through fire myself a few times that I realized what the skill set requires.
Everyone has the capacity to face even the darkest times and move through them with a sense of ease and assuredness. It is not always pretty nor is it usually fun and it is something we can all do with excellence when we know what we need to implement.
As a transformational resilience coach, certified master practitioner of NLP, and E-RYT certified yoga instructor, I didn’t just draw from my 20 years of experience to create this 6-pilar approach to resilience. I also drew upon my life experiences of tremendous adversity, constant change, and ultimately personal growth, development, and transformation.
The 6 Pillars:
1. It Starts With Radical Self Care.
Self care is the absolute first step to doing any personal development and inner exploration. If your physical body, mental body, and emotional body are not being taken care of, then one of the four legs of your of your whole self is missing and the table can’t stand to allow for the work on higher self.
It starts with the basics. Eat good food, get enough rest/meditation, and move your body. In addition to that, determine how to nourish your soul.
2. The Next Pillar Is About Identity.
Who are you? Who are you not? What is your life’s purpose. When you can answer those questions with certainty and a level of congruency, you can face any amount of adversity and stand on solid ground.
3. Unconditional Acceptance.
We all know that if you push against something, it just pushes right back. To create real transformation and lasting change we must do so from a space of unconditional acceptance for what is and our part in it. Another words, we must come to cause in whatever is not working in our lives. It can be a tough pill to swallow and yet WE create our realities 100% of the time.
4. From A Space Of Acceptance We Then Heal The Heart.
We must learn how to release the negative emotions, limiting beliefs, and limiting decisions to allow for new beginnings from an entirely empowered place.
5. Connection And Community.
Being able to reach out and connect, ask for help, and receive support it a crucial component of bouncing back in any scenario. As human beings we are hard wired for connection and to think we can go it alone is a recipe for frustration and often, failure.
6. Joy; A Daily Commitment And Practice.
Too often we think that our normal human condition or state is that of suffering. We cling to fleeting moments of joy and believe that it can’t be an ongoing and normal state to live in. We strive and grasp and achieve with the mindset that once we have that person, attain that goal, or obtain that object, then we can be joyful.
We have it completely backwards. We must practice joy as much as we practice anything we want to master. It may take conscious effort at first, but with practice the state of pure joy and compassion becomes an unconscious and regular thing.
So, as we are faced with challenging family members, the loss of a loved one, or simply the daily trials of the human condition, build upon these six pillars and know that you can bounce back from anything!