In Part One, in a few steps, I discussed why passion and purpose are important to well-being. The last step included a way for you to find your passion. I ended Part One with this message: In Part Two you will learn a potent force that holds you back.
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Hmmm…What could that be? What do you think is the most powerful force that can either allow you to move forward—or to hold back?
Hint: Well, you weren’t hatched! If you guessed something like “my family, my upbringing, my caregivers (or for some, their caretakers),” then you are right!
Your childhood environment and the rules you learned about life, women, men, risk, optimism, individuality, love, trust and many more things shape how you deal with setbacks, goals, underachieving and overachieving, and most importantly, loyalty and abandonment.
What? What do loyalty and abandonment have to do with passion and purpose? Read these two brief true stories;
Rita always wanted to go to college. Her mother and three brothers all worked in the family plumbing business, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to go to art school. Her father said to “stop dreaming.” Her mother said, “There are no art schools here.
Springville City is our home and where we live. Rita stayed home and dawdled in crafts the rest of her life—and was unhappy.
Alex was good with his hands. He could build just about anything. Most of all he loved designing buildings. All the men—on both sides of the family—were physicians. So, it was expected that Alex would also go to medical school. But, one day, when he was in advanced chemistry class in college, he realized how much he hated it. His girlfriend said to him: “Life is too short to do what you hate. Why don’t you change your major?”
The idea panicked him, but he kept hearing his girlfriend’s words. A month later, he told his parents he was changing his major to engineering. He shook the whole time he spoke to them. They yelled and screamed, threatened not to pay for college, but they eventually supported his dream.
In those two stories, Rita could not undergo the panic that Alex braved. She couldn’t risk upsetting her family and appearing ungrateful, unloving—and disloyal.
Alex also feared similar things, but, with the help of a trusted girlfriend, he knew he had to risk being anxious—and going against his family.
So, now you are ready to face that potent family force that can hold you back.
Your Oath For Following Through On Following Your Passion And Purpose
- I do not have to obey or believe what my caregivers taught me about love, life, taking chances, and many other things.
- I accept that the things my caregivers said to me or about me may not be true. More likely, they are ideas, sayings and behavior that their caregivers did to them.
- I accept that I do not have to live the life, career, love choices or relationship styles of my caregivers.
- I am ready to risk upsetting and going against my family’s expectations and rules.
- I am ready to overcome obstacles in my past—and not use them as excuses.
- I am ready to be anxious—and not “get anxious about being anxious!”
- I expect setbacks and disappointments—and I will keep pursuing my goals and/or realistic modifications of them.
- I will not lie or deceive myself—or make excuses.
- I know that if I do these things, I will create a clear path for trusting and following my instincts.
You can do it! Remember: It truly is your life!