Having a baby ranks pretty high on the list when it comes to intimate and personal experiences with your partner. For all the good a baby can do for a relationship, including bringing the two of you closer together, you still may have to take some time to light the fire in your relationship again after your child arrives.
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All that time spent on caring for the baby, and especially all the sleep you’re missing, can make it difficult to find the energy for romance.
You don’t have to “suck it up” or let your relationship lose its spark. By working together and making a new normal, you can raise a child and fan your relationship flames at the same time! Try the following five tips to get your spark back post-baby.
Relive A Great Memory
Don’t make things too complicated. Think of something the both of you really enjoyed doing before your child was born and recreate it at home. If you both liked playing cards at the casino, for example, you can set up a small card table and play against each other with a glass of wine once the baby is asleep for the night. For dancing, set up a music player right in your living room, just make sure the volume isn’t too loud!
Make Time For Relaxation
A little quiet time together, just the two of you, can go a long way. Take a few minutes here and there when you have the chance and sit with each other. Talk a bit or just enjoy each other’s company in silence. This may involve leaving dirty bottles in the sink a little longer or not getting all the clothes put away at once here and there, but it’s definitely worth it.
Have A Little Adult Time
Turn off the cartoons or child-friendly background noise as soon as your baby is napping or down for the night. Just a half an hour of your favorite TV shows or music can make the both of you feel refreshed.
Try Some Treats
The little things will help you two reinvigorate yourselves. Grand gestures and complicated plans aren’t necessary and usually more trouble than they’re worth. Prepare a favorite treat for you and your partner when you get a chance on occasion. Whether it’s microwave popcorn or that ice cream flavor you both enjoy, just little treats here and there can put some spring back into your step and be something you’re sharing together.
Be As Open As Possible
One of the most effective ways to keep your home fires burning is by communicating, and by communicating, we’re talking the good, the bad and the ugly. Open communication between the both of you keeps everyone on the same page and allows for a true partnership. Your partner can’t offer support when you need it or share in your joy when you experience something wonderful if he or she isn’t aware of how you’re feeling and what you’re doing, and vice versa. Be open and honest with your partner. Encourage the same from him or her. Listen to what he or she is saying and engage in the conversation fully, as it’s not enough to listen without actually hearing.
It may take some time to put the spark back into your relationship after your little one arrives, but don’t worry, as that’s only natural. Your baby will need an incredible amount of your time and resources in the beginning, but it won’t stay that way forever. Although your little one is dependent upon you, you can still have some romantic “us” time; it just might take a little more scheduling!