Everyone will have their share of horrifyingly bad dates, whether you’re young and just starting to date or you’re older and are divorced or ready to date again after dissolving your last relationship. If you go into the dating pool with the expectation that you’re going to have some bad dates, you’ll be a lot better prepared to shrug them off and move on to other potential mates.
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That being said, it’s not easy to move past a bad date, especially if you were hopeful that things would work out. Popular dating site, eHarmony has several suggestions for helping you move past bad dates without letting them discourage you from continuing to try to find the person you’re meant to be with.
Learn A Lesson
Bad dates can teach you a variety of lessons. Even if you know right off the bat that this person is not someone you have any romantic interest in, you can still enjoy spending the time together.
Perhaps you’ll gain a new friend or this person can teach you about your field of work. Even if you both decide that pursuing a love relationship isn’t what either of you want, you can still benefit from having met each other.
You may become platonic friends who can introduce each other to friends or family members who might end up being the person you’ve been searching for all along. If nothing else, a bad date can show you what kinds of people and situations to avoid in the future.
Think About Your Dating Activity
The experts at YourTango.com, a love life advice site, say that the choice of activity can turn a good date into a bad date. Did the two of you choose an activity that you didn’t enjoy or that turned out to be a total disaster?
Instead of writing off the person, try doing something else together so that you can know for sure if it was the person or the venue that made you think you didn’t want another date. In the future, remember that certain places and activities don’t make for good dates, and avoid them until you know the person better and can laugh at the unpleasantness of a bad date.
Find A Support System
A support system is a valuable way to recover from a bad date, according to the dating experts at eHarmony.com. Surround yourself with supportive friends who are also dating and trying to find their soulmate.
That way you have people who understand what you’re going through and can give you a sounding board when you have a bad date and need someone to commiserate with. These people can also give you tips and suggestions for the next date and perhaps even introduce you to potential mates.
Your close family can also support you by giving you unconditional love and a safe place to rage at the injustices of the dating world. Make sure you schedule time to spend with your support network so that you can build and foster those relationships.
This will make you feel better at forging ahead as it proves to you that there are good relationships for you. Also, if you spend time with these people instead of all your free time out on dates, you’ll have some enjoyable times instead of just a bunch of insufferable ones.
See The Bigger Picture
What’s your end goal with the dating? Obviously you want to find the person you can spend the rest of your life with. A person you connect with and experience intimacy and chemistry with on all levels – physical, emotional and mental – is everyone’s ideal.
It might seem like that is never going to happen when you go on bad date after bad date, but it’s important to keep the end result in mind. Remember what your goal is, and keep it at the forefront of your mind.
You know that reaching a goal involves getting over certain hurdles and working through your step by step action guide to get to your goal. It’s easy to be discouraged and feel like things are never going to work out for you, but imagining the end result can re-energize you and help you see that keeping at it will eventually get you where you wish to be.
Try Something New
Do you always meet your date at the coffee shop, or do you always see a movie? Perhaps that doesn’t bring out your best. As mentioned above, sometimes you can’t connect over a specific activity or in a certain place.
Broaden your mind and open yourself up to trying something new, and you might just find that magic combination of place and time to help you find someone you can continue dating and spend your life with. You might be uncomfortable or feel strange, but you might also be on the cusp of meeting your soulmate.
Don’t be afraid to try something out of the norm. The worst that can happen is that you’ll decide it isn’t right for you and you can move on to other things.
It’s so easy to cry your eyes out and sit around your house moping and feeling sorry for yourself after a bad date. That’s not going to get you anywhere, though, and you’ll just waste precious time being miserable.
The best way to find that special someone is to stay busy with your hobbies, trying new things and enjoying the other aspects of your life. Many people report that they fell in love at the least expected time – the time when they were doing their own thing and weren’t in the middle of a speed dating cycle or on yet another blind date.
Live and enjoy your life so that your attitude and outlook stay positive, and the rest should fall into place in its own good time.
Just End It
If you’re in the middle of a really bad date and can’t fathom how you’re going to stick it out, don’t feel bad about cutting things short. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you aren’t feeling it and that you don’t want to waste anymore of each other’s time.
Just like you know the instant connection you feel with a potential soulmate, you also know when it’s lacking, and that could mean that your best bet is just to cut your losses and move on. Do so in a mature and polite way, and then move on to the next date. After all, the next one might be the one you’ve been looking for all this time.
Bad dates are part and parcel of the dating process, but using these steps can help you get past them and keep your heart and mind open to what the future holds for you. Just remember that all those bad dates are going to be worth it once you get through them and finally go on the date that changes your life forever.