So many clients who come to coaching have good lives overall. They tell me that. It’s nice to hear well-adjusted children, a strong relationship, comfortable lifestyle, and the like.
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And yet often, for them, there feels just to be something missing; a missing link which if found would truly create a life they love.
Sometimes my ladies and gents know what the missing link is – happiness, love, a promotion, a different career, courage, contentment, financial security, calmness or satisfaction. For others, the situation isn’t quite so clear. There’s just a void, a gap, a lack of true fulfillment without knowing quite what’s lacking. Coaching explores this.
Think perhaps of a jigsaw puzzle. My younger son did one last night. And amazingly, all the pieces were there; no gaps, no missing links. It was a map of the world reflecting sporting activities in each country. The finished piece was quite striking. Maybe our lives are a little like a puzzle.
So many of us start a jigsaw by finding the edged pieces first and then building the corners and surrounds. We use the picture on the box to move inwards and often leave the more complicated parts to last: vast areas of sea, sky or cloud for example. Do you do that? It certainly builds a foundation to move within.
Maybe that’s also what we do in life. We look to build the foundations which we think are important – the more practical aspects perhaps: finance, house, car, job and then work inwards. Maybe we need to work on the more complex parts earlier: emotions, self-worth, confidence, fear, happiness, and joy. And then move outwards.
Also, what would it take for us to have all the pieces present and then be able to fit them together in our lives?
What about you? Is there a missing link for you?
How might you describe your life? Good? Great? Wow? Or not so good in fact? What’s needed to move up a notch in the positive emotional front? To raise the stakes of happiness and contentment? It is certainly worth thinking about.
Perhaps take some time to explore what’s not working or happening for you. What positive difference might it make to your life if it was? Once we understand and acknowledge the gap, it can be a real focus. Explore the missing link. Identify it. Name it. Own it. And resolve to take action to finding it. Often the acknowledgment creates a solid starting point. Most things are findable and often in fact already there.
It is important to also reflect on everything which is good; every single piece which is present and positive. And be pleased, happy and content about that.
We deserve to feel whole and complete. And be like finished puzzle. But we have to make it, build it, create it. And then enjoy the striking end result of our hard work.