Even the strongest relationships take work to survive. Whether you’ve been married for two years or 10, you can’t expect to feel the same spark that was experienced during the early stages of your partnership unless you specifically take action to keep the flame of affection alive between the two of you. Keep reading to get some actionable strategies for doing that.
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1. Send Each Other Flirty Text Messages
If you can’t remember how long it’s been since you sent your spouse a text message to encourage them to get in the mood for some later lovemaking, you probably need to think seriously about improving your communications about intimate matters. If you plan things right, your spouse may find it hard to wait to see you when you’re apart and want to spend some time alone with you as soon as possible.
To make the text messages as personal as possible, mimic the practice you use in the bedroom by taking time to incorporate the things your partner really likes within the text messages, whether you use special nicknames or funny phrases that only have significance to the two of you.
2. Recall The Things That Made The Two Of You Fall In Love
Take a trip down memory lane to reminisce about the aspects that caused the two of you to fall for each other so strongly that you eventually decided to get married. Perhaps you bonded over a love of golden retrievers or first met when you were both enjoying the view from on top of the Empire State Building. Whatever the specifics, see if there are ways you can bring back some of those factors so they’re present in your current relationship.
If geography doesn’t prevent it, think about planning trips to places that symbolize your relationship, such as where you went for your first date, the place where you first kissed, and where one of you popped the question to the other person. By looking back on those special times, you’ll be able to think back to all the things you’ve shared together since then and think excitedly about what’s to come.
3. Set Aside Time For Face-to-Face Chats
In today’s modern and fast-paced society, we have plenty of reasons to use technology to talk to the people we love rather than conversing with them face-to-face. If you’ve often used a tech gadget to talk to your spouse, and sometimes depend on that tool even more often than simply sitting beside one another and having honest conversations, start setting aside particular times of the day when you make a point of simply talking to each other.
The topics you bring up may vary greatly, from what you did at work on a given day to whether you want to go out to dinner that evening. When you get into the habit of having regular conversations without depending on technology, the chances increase that the two of you won’t feel compelled to keep things from each other. In that regard, this straightforward strategy could improve your communication skills in big ways. What’s more, the only “tools” required are willingness to engage and your voices.
4. Hold Hands Often
When you and your spouse were still in the dating phase, you two probably held hands at every opportunity, eager for the chance to merely be in close contact with each other. Now, after you’ve been married for a while, perhaps you don’t hold hands as often. If that’s true, make a change and revisit how enjoyable it is to hold hands with your significant other. You can even hold hands under a table if you’re concerned about being too obvious with your displays of affection.
5. Leave Unexpected Messages For Each Other
Sure, you’re familiar with what it’s like to leave a voice message for your spouse asking them to bring milk home on the way back from work, but where’s the romance in that? Experiment with using a different kind of message to tell your spouse how much you love them, and ask your partner to return the favor. Write sweet statements on index cards or small pieces of paper, and tuck them in unexpected places such as lunch boxes, briefcases and laptop bags.
If possible, always maintain the element of surprise, so your spouse never knows precisely when to expect these messages. If you’re not sure exactly what to write during your first few attempts, don’t worry. It’s very effective to simply let the recipient know they’re being thought of and that you care about brightening their day as thoroughly as you can.
6. Send Surprises To The Office
Maybe your partner loves red roses or really enjoys chocolate-dipped strawberries. Those are two things that you may be able to arrange to have sent to your spouse’s workplace. Although couples commonly do that for respective anniversaries and birthdays, you don’t need to wait for a really significant occasion.
In fact, by sending your spouse treats when they are least likely to expect it, you’re showing that you’re eager to show your love for time-specific reasons, but genuinely don’t need to wait for a special day to pass before you do something nice for your partner while they are at work. If you’re in the mood, include a flirty but suitable-for-work message with your gift, such as “I can’t wait to see your beautiful self in a few hours. Hurry home!”
7. Participate In Learning Something New Together
Whether the two of you learn the fundamentals of ballroom dancing or take up tennis, there are dozens of ways you can grow closer in your relationship by learning something new. For best results, choose activities that require teamwork. That way, you’ll celebrate both personal victories and collaborative ones and always be there to comfort each other through perceived shortcomings. As the two of you make progress, be sure to recognize it through praise and admiring looks.
8. Experiment In The Bedroom
There are probably a couple of positions that are your old standbys and you feel so in tune with your partner’s body that it seems you know every inch of it when you’re in the bedroom. Although there’s no harm in sticking to some familiar intimate acts, don’t be afraid to branch out a little too. Sometimes, adding just a few unexpected twists to your intimate time could make it feel like your first time all over again.
9. Experience Nature Together
Whether you walk your pooch in a nearby park or spend an afternoon admiring the changing leaves during a mountainside drive, consider spending time with your spouse in nature. Doing so can get the two of you out of your elements and help you feel more romantic.
Hopefully you now feel well-equipped with some fabulous ideas to keep your marriage strong through the decades. As mentioned earlier, all relationships take work, but at least these suggestions are so much fun that they won’t feel laborious.