When you entered into your relationship you likely did so fueled by your esteem for your selected partner and your eagerness to build bonds as a couple. When you signed up for this union, you probably didn’t expect the relationship to be rife with drama. Unfortunately, all too often, drama sneaks its way into relationships.
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Drama can come in many forms and often arises as a result of underlying emotions of jealousy, anger or upset or, in some cases, from someone who simply loves episodes of conflict.
If you’re currently in a drama-rich relationship or you’ve just escaped one and have no desire to dive back in to a sea of drama when you hitch your wagon to someone again, keep these simple drama reduction tips in mind. Utilize them for the betterment of your relationship when it becomes necessary to do so.
1. Talk About The Drama
If your existing relationship is being poisoned by an influx of drama, don’t ignore it. Pretending it’s not happening most certainly won’t make it better. The first step in solving the problem is to acknowledge the drama and discuss it.
When you do, don’t point fingers. Even if you feel like you’re drama free and your partner is the one bringing all of the conflict into the union, telling them that won’t work in your favor.
Instead of placing blame, discuss volatile situations, and describe how you would have preferred them to go so your partner can understand your desires and see the better alternatives you are proposing.
2. Separate Drama And Excitement
In bygones eras it was relatively uncommon to see two people engaged in a verbal or physical brawl. Today, you need only turn on the TV and surf around until you find a table-flipping, screaming-match-containing reality TV show.
While all of this conflict can make for good entertainment – or so the ratings suggest – it also leaves people confused. While this type of conflict can make for relatively interesting TV, it doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.
If it seems that the drama level has spiked in your long and settled relationship, it could be because your partner, or even you, subconsciously seeks excitement. Feed your relationship the thrills it needs by doing something exciting with your partner. By doing so, you may reduce the likelihood that either of you creates drama as an entertaining diversion.
3. Understand And Accept Differences
While you might not choose to talk to a former flame once your relationship has ended, your other half might. Don’t assume that, just because you wouldn’t engage in a particular behavior your partner won’t either.
Your relationship is never going to work in the long run if you don’t accept the fact that you and your partner are two different people with different wants, needs and motivations. It is critical that you trust your partner. If you can’t trust them, you shouldn’t continue the relationship, as it will never be truly healthy without the presence of mutual trust.
4. Institute Cool Down Time
For many couples, drama arises as they work through conflicts. As they argue about an upsetting relationship issue, many people grab barbs from the past – an already discussed transgression that is best left dormant – and insert them into the current conflict.
If you or your partner is guilty of this, limit the likelihood you engage in this potentially relationship-ending behavior by creating cool down time.
The next time you and your partner get into a disagreement, set a timer for 10 minutes, go to different rooms in the house and don’t come out until the timer sounds. While 10 minutes might not be a lot of time, it is often enough to settle sufficiently, allowing for a productive and drama-light conversation.
5. Show Affection And Consideration
Being a caring and affectionate partner is a simple way to drop the drama levels. Show your partner that you care about them on a consistent basis and you will give them less cause to get upset or concerned.
When you go out on a date, keep your cell phone in your bag and give them your full attention. Surprise them with small tokens of your affection. Say nice things to them for no particular reason. Give them gentle hugs and tender back rubs.
All of these easy and affordable affectionate advances help them stay secure in their knowledge of your affection, most likely strengthening your relationship and keeping the drama monster in hibernation.